Collection of One-Liners

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.

Marriage is an institution -- but who wants to live in one?

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

If a man hears much that a woman says, she is not beautiful.

A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.

A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself.

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else.

A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Were it not for imagination, sir, a man would be as happy in the arms of a chambermaid as a duchess.

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out

For a male and female to live continuously together is... biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.

The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.