| Simple Duties: |
|
| You make the bed |
+1 |
| You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows |
0 |
| You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets |
-1 |
| You leave the toilet seat up |
-5 |
| You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty |
0 |
| When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex |
-1 |
| When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next
bathroom |
-2 |
| You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners
with wings |
+5 |
| But return with beer |
-5 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night |
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing |
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's something |
+5 |
| You pummel it with a six iron |
+10 |
| It's her father |
-10 |
| Social Engagements: |
|
| You stay by her side the entire party |
0 |
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a college drinking buddy |
-2 |
| Named Tiffany |
-4 |
| Tiffany is a dancer |
-6 |
| Tiffany has implants |
-8 |
| Her Birthday: |
|
| You take her out to dinner |
0 |
| You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar |
+1 |
| Okay, it is a sports bar |
-2 |
| And it's all-you-can-eat night |
-3 |
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night,
and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team |
-10 |
| A Night Out With The Boys: |
|
| Go out with a pal |
-5 |
| And the pal is happily married |
-4 |
| Or frighteningly single |
-7 |
| And he drives a Mustang |
-10 |
| With a personalised license plate (GR8 N BED) |
-15 |
| A Night Out: |
|
| You take her to a movie |
+2 |
| You take her to a movie she likes |
+4 |
| You take her to a movie you hate |
+6 |
| You take her to a movie you like |
-2 |
| It's called DeathCop 3 |
-3 |
| Which features cyborgs having sex |
-9 |
| You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans |
-15 |
| Your Physique: |
|
| You develop a noticeable potbelly |
-15 |
| You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of
it |
+10 |
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans
and baggy
Hawaiian shirts |
-30 |
| You say "I don't give a damn because you have one
too" |
-800 |
| The Big Question: |
|
| She asks, "Do I look fat?" |
-5 |
| You hesitate in responding |
-10 |
| You reply, "Where?" |
-35 |
| Communication: |
|
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen,
displaying what
looks like a concerned expression |
0 |
| When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes |
+5 |
| You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the
TV |
+10 |
| She realises this is because you've fallen asleep |
-20 |
